Why can’t black kids have a Santa that looks like them?

Maybe I should have posted this here.

Black Atheists

Let’s put religion to aside here for a second, mostly because I’m black, first.

How foolish of me to believe that there would at least a little reprieve from all the outlandish and ridiculous amount of racism people of color have endured all year long around the holiday season. You online trolls have a lot of nerve.

Let me show you something:

black santaBlack Santa

Guess how many fucks were given? None! Guess who ‘member sitting on either lap? No one, not even me; I don’t ‘member. Guess who lived to see many Christmases after that without any psychological Santa trauma? Me. I’m fine. You know why? I didn’t care! Kids don’t care what color Santa Claus is, you do! The other 364 days of the year we’re told not to sit on strange men laps, but here I am, sitting on a strange man lap. I guess it’s okay since it’s…

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Looks Like I’m Pregnant…

Yep. I took a test and me and my fiance waited for the results. At first, it didn’t make sense to me whether I was pregnant or not, but it became clear – no pun intended. I took two of these – one that day and the other firstpregnant thing the following morning – it too was a positive. So I’ve made myself an appointment to see a doctor. To get the final confirmation. It’s set for some time in May. I really hope I’m pregnant because me and the fiance have been really trying to. I mean, we’ve only tried once and you know all it takes is once.

Their Ovaries Are 10x Their Size Over @ CafeMom.com

Let me just clear the airways here before someone try to tell me that I’m generalizing all the mothers over at Cafemom.com.

I have met at least 6 civilized, reasonable and kind mothers at Cafemom; I’m sure there’s more — well at least I hope there is. I recently stopped using Cafemom.com because of the blatant disrespect they have for other women that uses the site. I thought the accusations and stories I’ve read about them being bitchy, menstruating 24/7, mad-at-the-world irrational beings were just rumors, but I was proved wrong when I posted in one of the group pages I joined. That group page was Love & Marriage. I’m not going to get into what I posted but it was respectful and I wasn’t lashing at anyone on the site. I was ranting about my life. It didn’t get nasty until they got nasty with me.

The point is, most of those ladies (and I use that term loosely) were sticking it to me like I just insulted their offspring. I sat there trying to understand where all the hostility came from. I came to one conclusion: they’re trolls. I joined a group hoping to reach out to other women and I get verbally criticized. They came in droves like roaches to water. All I have to say to that is, they wouldn’t say anything of what they were saying to anyone in person; the taste would get knocked out of their mouth so fast…

Anyway, even though I came to my conclusion why they attacked me but what I’m not understanding is where did it come from? Who shat in their Cheeriosthat morning? Are their lives miserable at the same time of the month as well as their menstrual cycle? Out of all the responses I gotten from that forum I posted in that group, it was only one person who didn’t join in on trying to treat me like eCrap. It’s okay. I’m fine with leaving the site, I barely used it to begin with after I had my son.

I’m a reasonable person and I don’t go and pick efights with people because of the fact they’re miles away from me — or for the sheer fun of ruffling someone’s feathers. I believe the reasoning behind their blatant lack of online etiquette comes from not knowing the person they’re verbally abusing; nor do they care. Add that to kids running around, stress-levels on the high and a menstrual cycle and you have a mother with insufficient brainpower bashing someone over the internet.

From doing a little reasearch, I found out that there are other sites that are just like Cafemom if not worse than them when it comes to be complete nuisances.

  1. CafeMom.com
  2. Parenting.com
  3. Momslikeme.com (shut down)

If you know of any more, please let me know.

I can understand being bored but why start up fake drama because of it? You have children that can use all that energy you got bashing people, so put it to good use.

I had to blog about this, regardless of whoever reads this thinks. Whether it’s because they in fact think they ruffled my feathers enough to blog about it or what they said got to me etc. The fact is, there are angry moms logging in to Cafemom.com just to troll and make someone’s visit on the site as miserable as they can. It’s quite disturbing. What they do not know is, there are certain people out there that know a few things and about computers and networks — they could have been easily hacked. I’ve grown out of that years ago but it’s the fact that people online think they’re invincible. Yea we’ll see how invincible they are when they have to take their computer to BestBuy‘s Geek Squad to get fixed.

All I know is I’d hate for women who come on there looking for advice and these same particular women come in the blog leaving their mark on the forum like how a dog leave their mark on a tree.

The Energizer Bunny That is My Son

For some reason today my son decided that he wanted to stay up until 12 o’clock. He would get tired and rub his eyes so I will pick him up and rock him. I didn’t realize until later that this dude was siphoning all of my energy. One minute he’s tired, the next, he isn’t. I think it also had something to do with him teething as well but at the moment, his gums didn’t look like they were bothering him: he didn’t start getting fussy until around 11:30. Well when he decided to get fussy, he was fighting his dad, he was fighting me of all people, he was fighting the Sandman — everything and everybody!  He didn’t want to be rocked, cuddled, held, sat up, laid down, put in the dark or in the light. Everything we did was making him upset. At this point I was fussy and ready to fight him. Then it hit me…his gums! I made him a bottle, gave him a dose of Children’s Tylenol and gave him his bottle. A few minutes after that he was knocked out. The energizer bunny that is my son finally put his drum away and went to sleep.

Soon after that, I went to sleep expecting him to wake up at the crack of dawn saying, “ma, ma, ma, ma” while kicking his feet in his crib. As much as I want to believe he’s already talking at 7 months, I don’t believe he understands what he’s saying. He’s only using words that don’t need teeth.

A Killer Blowout

Other mothers should know the term ‘blowout’ like they gave birth to the word itself.  I just had the worst kind of diaper blowout a new mother can experience. My lovely son was squirming and fussy all day; just couldn’t keep still. He has impeccable timing nonetheless. He manages to wait til we get back home to have this record-breaking blow out. It was pasty and running down one side the diaper and down his thigh and leg. It was all over theonesie. My husband simply wanted to throw it away, but that’s whatDreft is for right?

Well this is how it went:

I was hungry, was about to get my fat butt up and eat. Stopped by thecouch where son and husband is sitting and said hi to Adam little when Big Adam says “you want to change his diaper before you take your nap?” I told him I wasn’t about to take a nap but I can change his diaper. I pick Adam Little up and put him on his changing mat and sit down on the couch. I look…and see all this green pasty substance oozing out the diaper and down his thigh. I say “ewwww Adam” and Big Adam looks at the catastrophe that is the blow out Little Adam put upon me and then Adam tells me to stand up and come to find out, he crapped so bad it was on the couch and now on my behind. Long story short, he crapped, I cleaned it up and now I’m not hungry any more. Lost my damn appetite.

After I washed up and got into some clean clothes, I just metaphorically threw my hands up and sat back down at my desk. I don’t know, either I’m not hungry or I’m simply too lazy to make me a sandwich with a side of chips andpotato salad and a kosher dill pickle to boot. I just know that my son have had some gnarly blowouts in the past but this one I’m going to remember till he gets old enough and I can tell him. That is definitely one for the book.

What’s weird is although I show my displeasure vocally, I’m not actually disgusted about it. I just say to myself that it’ll be over soon. The pleasure in seeing my son all giddy and happy to let all that out is enough for me to get through. Now he’s in his napper turned on his side with his hand to his face passed out. I love my son.

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My 34 week and 6th day Appointment

According to my ‘Baby Basics’ book…

“Your baby looks just like…a baby! He’s getting plum, cute and nearly ready for hugging. Maybe as big as 5lbs, 18 inches. He can see. (And look at those eyelashes!) He can hear. And he is growing fast. The lungs and brain still need to do some growing. But if your baby were born this month, it would probably do well.

Yea well with all the menstrual-like cramping and the painful pelvic pains, it’s becoming all too real that maybe he wants to come earlier than June 9th. I hope I’m wrong. It also says in this month that there will be a lot of kicking and moving. Well it he’s been pretty much doing the opposite. Anyway, at my appointment. I gained a lot of weight since my last visit. I went from 154lbs to 160lbs. Finally reached that 25lb weight gain mark that I was so worried about not gaining. They say from here on out, you’re supposed to gain 1lb a week but here I gained more than that. I’m measuring at 34cm so I’m right on the money.

Hmm, as far as my weight gain, my blood pressure was perfect as usual. Nostretch marksvaricose veins, bleeding gums, leg cramps, back aches, swollen ankles, leaky nipples, no stuffy nose, and if I were having Braxton Hicks Contractions I wouldn’t know, they’re unnoticeable. I’m still confused on what those menstrual cramps mean. I told my OB/GYN and she told me, “that’s very good, it means you won’t be pregnant for long”. I should have asked her what she meant by that but all I wanted was to get off of my feet, and sit down.

Oh yea, I got the chance to take a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital. I really thought we were going to be in this big open room with other pregnant women, in one of those chairs where you put your legs up and the only thing separating you from the outside world is a thin curtain but boy was I wrong. I even got to see the recovery room that I’ll be in with my baby. They’re really nice and they have room service so I’ll be taking advantage of that.

I got a good look at one of baby Adam‘s little feet last week. It was fascinating and I almost cried. He stuck it out there for at least 4 seconds and I almost grabbed it but he pulled it back like he knew what I was thinking. I can’t wait to see him, I’m so very excited/anxious. The baby shower is this Saturday and I’m going to have great time.

I’m More Scared of the Needle Than I Am of the Pain…

Yep. I am, I will cry and cry and cry when they’re ready to give me the IV’s and the epidural. I’ve decided to get the epidural after all. Why am I so scared of needles? I don’t have the foggiest idea as to why. I guess it’s the same concept as a knife, I don’t want to bestabbed with anything.

As for the pain before I can get the epidural? I think I’m going to walk through all that mostly. Until it gets to unbearable to stand. Even then I may walk until my feet are so sore from pacing they feel hot.

I’ve seen the videos, I’ve talked to doctors, I’ve even looked for alternatives in pain relief. Nothing else will do they say. One way or another you’re going to get stabbed with a needle. I just hope I won’t need anything else but the norm. I want this to be an easy pregnancy but they say the first one is the hardest. Well if that’s the case, this will be my last. I don’t see how other women do it. Especially ‘Octomom’, she’s just plain nuts.

Well here’s to hoping I don’t get stabbed to death. Cheers!

Chicken Night

Yep, tonight we had baked chicken, candied yamsgreen beans, and mashed potatoes. Hopefully what I eat tonight doesn’t interfere with the glucose test I have to take tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll like my cooking. I think I’m a decent cook.

You’re really active in there; getting stronger by the day. You kicked me so hard in my ribs last night it actually hurt. I can tell there is more to come as the pregnancy progresses. I’m not really running to the bathroom every 15 minutes…yet but you do tend to sit on my bladder which causes me to go to the bathroom.

Hopefully I’ve gained a decent amount of weight when I check and see tomorrow. I was 140lbs at my last appointment; still under the required weight that I’m supposed to be. I guess that’ll change as you grow. I guess your great-grandmother was right, I am going to be “all baby” because I am. I’m planning on taking pictures once I’m 7 months, I won’t be taking many; probably just two. Your mom has a  photophobia.

Friends Come First

I was going to cook today but I changed my mind. My gums were bleeding and my teeth were all screwed up due to my lack of calcium. I haven’t had my daily regimen of calcium in almost a month and a half. I would have went and gotten themilk I need myself but the store is TOO far from the apartment and I really didn’t want to walk that far by myself caring all that milk; and it seems like my needs come last in most cases.

Well your father just came back from wherever he was at and the door slammed. You’ve been active and light-way hurting me all day and I finally get you to calm down and he goes and mess it up. I don’t know what’s on my right side that you’re so fond of but you’re really enjoying it.

For some reason, I can’t seem to get full. I don’t try to eat till I’m full but I’m eating large meals within hours of each other. I don’t know what that could mean but I’ll be sure to ask my OB-GYN come Tuesday. Your father’s timing couldn’t have been more impeccable. He’s been summoned on the same day. I can’t even remember the last time he’s been to my prenatal appointments. It’s okay I guess, friends come first. That was sarcasm by the way.

Don’t get me wrong, he went and bought me some milk after he was done taking care of his customers or whatever. I just think he only did that to keep from walking all the way down the street to get my W.I.C. I have a lot of calcium intake to catch up on and I’m going to need more than just 2 half-gallons. I see the only person I can really count on right now is me.

Walking is really beneficial for me right now so I guess it’s not a total pain. Other than the Sciatica, I should be fine.

An Okay Day

Today was slow and miserable for the most part. You were kicking me and probably looking around for the first time. Today you opened your eyes. I wonder what it looks like in there. I know you’re wondering what it looks like out here.

Living so high up sucks. Why? Heat rises, and I’ve been hot all day; sweating all over the place. I hope I’m not losing weight. It’s like a sweat shop without the manual labor in the bedroom. Today I was too weak, or tired to get up and leave the apartment and go downstairs or something.

I know you’re wondering what’s that you’re hearing. It doesn’t sound likeFamily Guy or House MD, it’s because today I’ve decided to watch a movie. You know to switch it up a bit. It’s Iron Man 2. Speaking of which, the new upcoming movie ‘The Avengers‘ is supposed to be filmed here in Cleveland, Ohio. Isn’t that great?! Captain America is not my cup of tea at all but hopefully this movie turns out well. Spiderman came out good when they filmed a section of that here so we shall see.

Anyway, besides the irregular heartbeat and the fact that I’m hot all the time, everything else is ok. Your mom is doing good so far and hopefully you are too. We shall see once I take this glucose test for gestational diabetes next week. I should be ok, I rarely eat sugar but then again, I eat a lot of pasta and other starches. I hope I won’t have to fast before I take this test. Mommy loves you.