Why I Refuse to Make Sacrifices Just for My Children

The archaic and mundane reasoning behind why a mother can only make sacrifices for her children is getting really tired. Yes, I am a mom. I’ve been one for almost five years now. In those five years, I’ve been told on multiple occasions that, “your life is to those kids now”, or “you have only room to make sacrifices for your children, you gave up your life when you had them.” Why?

Why do I have to subject my life to just being a home-maker? If I don’t make sacrifices for myself, how can I for them? I have to be able to take care of them, right? I can’t do that if I have to toss my dreams away. I’m only human. If I listen to these memes that people share on social media, I’d be more depressed that I’ve ever been.

aec

I’m not saying that I don’t love my children and that I don’t make sacrifices for them, but I’m not going to not make sacrifices for myself. I’m not going to put my entire life on hold just because I’m a mom. I tried that, it didn’t work. I’ll never do it again. All it did was made me bitter and depressed. It sent me to a place I hope I’ll never return to.

Some women are okay with that, I’m not knocking you for doing you. It’s just that’s not me and a lot of mom’s – when they hear me say my truth – cannot handle it. They think it cannot be done. Single mothers do it all of the time; with more children, so I know I can do it with my fiance and two children. If I don’t keep my sanity by finding an outlet or going back to school, then who will? I’m not perfect and I’ll never strive for perfection because that’s implausible.

I should be able to take care of my kids and have the life I want. It shouldn’t have to be either or and I’m sick of hearing it.

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