What I’ve Gathered and Struggled with Breastfeeding So Far | My First Month

The Struggle Was Real…

I always thought that breast was best, so when a WIC office in Cleveland told me that I wasn’t making enough milk for my son and that I should strictly formula feed him, I was distraught. I really thought that was true. I tried for days and days after I had my son and I wasn’t producing enough, no matter what I did. So I gave up and formula fed my son. Getting up making bottles, making sure it was warm enough for him, etc. I hated it. Mostly because he seemed as if he was never getting enough. 12-24 ounces a day. You’d think all that milk there’d be spit up, nope.

Now with my little mama the struggle isn’t so real. She’s fine…I think.


Since day one, my little mama wants to only take the tip of my nipple in her mouth. On rare occasions she will adjust herself and get a mouth full of my breast in her mouth. Most of the time I’m in pain. She fights my breast, sticks her hands in her mouth, lick my nipple, rinse and repeat. My nipples burn and ache; I get sharp pains from deep within my breast regularly, wearing bras even hurt. I saw a lactation consultant yesterday and she tells me that she may be tongue-tied. She told me to take a clean finger or put on a medical glove and run my finger along the roof of her mouth. I haven’t done it because I don’t have the slightest clue what I’m looking for. I think I’ll let my pediatrician check for that.

Night Feedings

At night she feeds a lot more and sleep a lot less. She fights at the breast more. She groan, grunt, squirm, sigh, root, kick, cry and get frustrated. I try to lie down and feed her that way but that’s when she has an episode. I have to sit up and feed her with her in my arms. She feeds for 2-3 hours at a time that way. Every 15 minutes throughout the night if I’m lying down with her.


I have to pump her milk when we’re outside of the home or when her father needs to feed her – which is a rare occasion. I usually get around 2 ounces from each breast if I haven’t eaten anything or had anything to drink. On a good day I get 5 ounces or so. That’s usually because I’ve eaten good, or, I’m backed  up and need to pump because now I’m engorged; which hurts like hell.

My appetite

Most days, I’m eating once a day. My appetite has left with the pregnancy. Other days I’ll eat maybe twice and snack throughout and then end up neglecting on drinking any fluids.

What Works

When it comes to getting my breasts filled with boob juice oatmeal, Gatorade, and water is all I need. When I pump I get about 8 ounces of milk which is great when I’m going to be out of the house for that day


There is little; just my fiancé who works 40 hours a week for 5 days. If I need to do something it has to wait. If I need to take a nap, it has to be when she’s sleeping. When my son is here with me that’s practically impossible.  I’ve never really had a support system so that’s not a big deal. I just wish I had someplace comfortable to sit besides the bed in my bedroom and the bed is like laying on metal spikes.

December 25th, 2014

I wasn’t sure how to title this post so I went with the date. Today was just an ordinary day for me. It was spent eating lasagna and Texas toast while catching up on news for Final Fantasy XIV. My daughter slept on and off throughout the day; only waking up to feed and look around for a bit. Her great-grandmother and grandma came over today to drop off my son his holiday gifts. He’s in Cleveland spending the holidays there with his grandma, grandpa, and other relatives. His step-granddad and one of my fiance’s friends got my son toys, too. I would have to say that my son is set in the toy department this year.

Outside of that today was okay. I managed to make it through this holiday season without having to watch a single movie with Santa in it. I did though watch a series of animes: Parasyte and Tokyo Ghoul. I’m going down my list of gory anime and I’ve only begun.

It was very quiet, calm and peaceful here today; mostly because most of that time was spent sleeping.

Happy Holidays!

You’re a Month-old Today!

mayama Oh my little mama, time sure has flown! I love you so much, Mama. Yes, that’s what I call you, it just stuck when I first seen your face a month ago.

You’re getting bigger and stronger everyday and that makes your father and I so very happy. We can’t wait till you’re laughing and interacting with us more. Right now, you’re just sleeping a lot – and eating.

Still have day and night mixed up, but that’s fine. When you are awake you’re nursing and then you pass out just to wake up 5 minutes later to finish where you started. You’re like an old woman sometimes.

You had a doctor’s appointment a couple weeks ago and they were worried about your weight. You weren’t at your birth weight yet. I talked to WIC and they told me not to worry because breastfed babies gain weight differently.

As long as you’re healthy and not losing a dangerous amount of weight, you’re fine in my book. Your spit-up, though has me a bit concerned. I don’t know if it’s reflux or you’re simply eating too much. It bothers me because of how much it is. I know your stomach isn’t that big and some of the milk that comes is undigested yet, it still looks like the milk from my breast.

It could also be something I’m eating, I’ve done a bit of research and I’m still waiting on the pediatrician to get back with me on that.

Anyway, you’re happy, I’m happy, your dad is happy, so everything is fine.

I love you, Mama.