An Open Letter to Tommy

Hey you, I just wanted to give you a heads up on how I handle my labor pains, certain situations and preparations; based on how I dealt with them with munchkin and other people. These events will be based on pregnancy, and pain, and life. I’m going to try not to make this long or complicated because in the heat of things, who’s going to remember this?

  • I am more calmer and less likely to get angry when I am in pain. My mind won’t allow me to snap at the person that’s trying to help me.
  • I do not like sitting down when I’m in pain – same goes for when I’m sick. I have to get up and move around.
  • There will be occasions where I will want to squeeze you. I mean in a since of hugging your torso while I moan in pain.
  • I will make myself vomit. Not purposely. The pain and my reaction to the pain usually ends up with me vomiting so look out for that. I usually give a warning.
  • I am okay. Do not worry if it’s been 3 hours and I still haven’t sat down. The pain in my feet is not as bad as labor pains, believe me.
  • When we’re at the hospital, feel free to ask me all the questions you need to ask me. I won’t be upset. I will be distracted though especially if they have me sign paperwork that should have been signed when I pre-registered.
  • Feel free to make me laugh, I need it. I need the endorphins running through my brain. I would love the distraction.
  • I will expect you to be my coach, especially when they start mentioning needles. My fear of them heightens once I’m laying in the hospital bed and they’re going for my hand instead of my arm. They always get me in that big, fat, juicy vein in my left-hand, too. I’m going to need you in front of me making me make eye-contact with you keeping me calm if or when they have to give me an epidural.
  • There will be a lot of things I will not have to explain to you or tell you, but again, feel free to ask me.
  • If I have to be induced – which is most likely, keep yourself entertained because the last time I was induced, I went to sleep for 4 hours.
  • I didn’t allow certain people to visit me while I was in the hospital or after I took baby home. There are people I do not want to see. You already know who those people are and I’m sure you’ll agree.
  • Once they stitch me up, make me get up and walk. I made myself get up and walk even after I could still feel the effects of the epidural. It felt funny, but it felt better to get out of the bed. The doctor recommends it.
  • This is my second pregnancy, labor will probably be quick if everything is okay. Pregnancies are different each time so be open to change.
  • Drill the doctors, nurses, midwives, anesthesiologists. Be my eyes when I can’t see what they’re doing. Be my mind when I’m not quick enough to ask certain questions, or I’m out of it. You are Maya’s parent, too and it’s your right to ask questions and get answers.
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