An Open Letter to Tommy

Hey you, I just wanted to give you a heads up on how I handle my labor pains, certain situations and preparations; based on how I dealt with them with munchkin and other people. These events will be based on pregnancy, and pain, and life. I’m going to try not to make this long or complicated because in the heat of things, who’s going to remember this?

  • I am more calmer and less likely to get angry when I am in pain. My mind won’t allow me to snap at the person that’s trying to help me.
  • I do not like sitting down when I’m in pain – same goes for when I’m sick. I have to get up and move around.
  • There will be occasions where I will want to squeeze you. I mean in a since of hugging your torso while I moan in pain.
  • I will make myself vomit. Not purposely. The pain and my reaction to the pain usually ends up with me vomiting so look out for that. I usually give a warning.
  • I am okay. Do not worry if it’s been 3 hours and I still haven’t sat down. The pain in my feet is not as bad as labor pains, believe me.
  • When we’re at the hospital, feel free to ask me all the questions you need to ask me. I won’t be upset. I will be distracted though especially if they have me sign paperwork that should have been signed when I pre-registered.
  • Feel free to make me laugh, I need it. I need the endorphins running through my brain. I would love the distraction.
  • I will expect you to be my coach, especially when they start mentioning needles. My fear of them heightens once I’m laying in the hospital bed and they’re going for my hand instead of my arm. They always get me in that big, fat, juicy vein in my left-hand, too. I’m going to need you in front of me making me make eye-contact with you keeping me calm if or when they have to give me an epidural.
  • There will be a lot of things I will not have to explain to you or tell you, but again, feel free to ask me.
  • If I have to be induced – which is most likely, keep yourself entertained because the last time I was induced, I went to sleep for 4 hours.
  • I didn’t allow certain people to visit me while I was in the hospital or after I took baby home. There are people I do not want to see. You already know who those people are and I’m sure you’ll agree.
  • Once they stitch me up, make me get up and walk. I made myself get up and walk even after I could still feel the effects of the epidural. It felt funny, but it felt better to get out of the bed. The doctor recommends it.
  • This is my second pregnancy, labor will probably be quick if everything is okay. Pregnancies are different each time so be open to change.
  • Drill the doctors, nurses, midwives, anesthesiologists. Be my eyes when I can’t see what they’re doing. Be my mind when I’m not quick enough to ask certain questions, or I’m out of it. You are Maya’s parent, too and it’s your right to ask questions and get answers.

“No one graduates high school with a diaper on, they will go when they’re ready.”

I do know that my son will be late attending school. His potty-training hasn’t improved and it’s starting to really frustrate me. Nothing is working. Maybe I’m stressing about the fact that he won’t be in school any time soon. Hell, I can’t even take him to daycare, either. His speech delay is slowly disappearing, but at a snails pace. The only thing he’s hit right on the head for his age is the mine phase and the tornado tantrums.

When he was 2 and before he was taken from me by his dad and was kept from me up in Cleveland for months on end, my son was excited to use to potty, he was ready, he wanted to go. Now, we [my fiance and I] have to tell him to go use the potty. On rare occasion would he run – while holding his butt – and use the potty. 

We tried pull-ups and diapers and that didn’t work. It didn’t matter what was on his butt, he felt safe enough to go in it. Now we’re on the naked method and now when he’s angry at us, he goes into his room and urinate and or dedicates. When we first started the experiment he got it right away, he’d do 1 and 2 in the toilet and he was proud of himself as so was my fiance and I. Now, we are back at square one. He has to be reminded to go to the potty and he absolutely hates it. 

People tell me that he’ll get it when he’s ready. How far along should I wait till he’s ready, 5 years of age? No. Hell no!

Restless Leg Syndrome and Charley Horses

For the first time in my life and definitely the first time in my pregnancy history, I experienced the worst Charley horse ever. Screaming out of a sleep 30 minutes after having to put my restless 3-year-old back to bed in the middle of the night was not cool. My sleeping patterns are out of whack in the first place in the first place. I have a lot of restless nights where I wake up 3 hours after laying down and end up being up for the rest of the night. Top that off with pregnancy RLS and you can see how adding Charley horses into the mix could make someone frustrated.

It occurred in both legs – the Charley horse – at the same time. My first reaction was to stand up and walk, but for some reason I was too afraid to stand. My fiancé woke up immediately freaking out that it was the baby. It was until 2 minutes had passed before I could reassure him that it wasn’t Maya, both of my legs were in attack mode. I couldn’t form words, all I could do was scream at my calves. There was a hint of frustration in my screams as I howled and grind my teeth to keep from waking my son up. I’m sure someone below me thought I was being murdered; didn’t help that the windows were open in my bedroom either. None of that I was thinking about, I just wanted the pain to stop. All I could say to my fiancé was “Tommy – Tommy, it hurts!” The pain finally subsided after he had me lay down and told me to straighten out my legs. He had to be up early in the morning and I’m sure it was close to that time for him to get up, I apologized. For the rest of the night I was afraid to move my legs, but I couldn’t help but move them because of the tingly sensation that caused me to move them arose. All I could think was “Fuck me running, not again!”

Well, it’s 10:00 in the morning and my calves are freaking sore. They’re sore like I’ve worked out and my sciatica isn’t helping it. Walking was painful already as it was and now I have sore calves to boot. I’m starting to think all of this is happening to me being on my feet throughout the day. I was cooking and cleaning for most of the day and chasing my son around. Maybe I should just take it easy for a couple of days. I’ll be sure to mention all of this to my doctor on the 9th.

Burning Nipples!!!

Sweet mother of Jesus, my nipples are on fire! My nipples feel like I cheese grated my nipples and then soaked them in alcohol and then set them on fire. This second pregnancy is showing to be much worse than the last one. I never felt such a terrible burning sensation in my breasts.

It’s also been brought to my attention that the cold is making it worse. The nipple inferno hasn’t let up and it’s been over 20 minutes. Wearing clothes makes it worse. I guess this is on the list of ‘Things you were never told about pregnancy.’