“The reason your son isn’t potty-trained yet is because god is punishing you.”

pottytraining

Yep, someone said that to me one of those infamous mommy facebook group pages; one of those, atheist and christians “co-mingling” together mommy group pages. She even went on to say that his speech-delay is because I’m a heathen.

I would have been insulted if I wasn’t so appalled and disgusted.

Yes, I’ve struggled with my son and his speech-delay since I first recognized it before he turned a year old. At the time, my then husband was telling me to not worry about it and he’d catch on. I wasn’t convinced, but I figured that he could be partly right. He’s now three and he’s still only pointing at objects or making “mm!” sounds when he wants something while pointing. He’ll ask for something and he’ll say it, “bwepthewpbububub sandwich!” or “dbubbububbbub outside!” It’s never a full sentence – until recently – when he yelled at my fiancé to “come back here!” clear as day and I was shocked!

It’s frustrating having to understand him sometimes. He has this word for pillow and blanket and it’s the same word for both. It’s a cross of pillow and potty – ‘prittow’ or ‘prillet’, but he can’t say blanket or pillow. He’s not making complete sentences. He can say “shut up, Tommy” easy. He can say “no” but it’s no to every thing when often times he means yes.

I had him in a help me grow/special education for children with delay program when I was in Cleveland I was also taking him to The Cleveland Hearing and Speech Center. When I moved to Akron, I was still taking him every Wednesday, 10:30 in the morning by bus, but that was getting too expensive. I’m reading to him, having to try and repeat things back to me, pointing to things and giving them labels, showing him flash cards of objects. Some he recognized, others he blubbers out the word that I say and doesn’t exactly repeat it.

As far as potty-training goes, I was told by the speech specialist that potty-training isn’t going to go too well due to his speech delay. Which makes sense to me because none of my methods for potty-training is working. The only one I haven’t tried is just buying pack of real underwear with extra padding in them and allowing him to feel the wetness; the mushiness of a dirty bottom. When I first introduced potty-training to him, he was excited and getting the gist of it. It wasn’t until my ex-husband came and took him without my permission or with me knowing while I was at work and kept him for 3-4 months. He came back and now he runs and hides and after he defecated, he’ll then reappear, and once in a while he’ll come to me by himself to get his “booty change” or he’ll just say “I peed!” Again, those are rare occasions.

My son is three and he probably won’t go to preschool because by the time I get potty-training through to him, it’ll be time to get him into kindergarten; and hopefully he’ll be ready by then. Just to add, the entire time he was up there with his jobless father, living with his parents, it was clear he wasn’t teaching him how to use the potty. That was more clear when I saw the evidence front and center this recent 4th of July.

I’m so worried about him and it’s getting frustrating. He’s huge for his age; some people think he’s six and he just turned 3 in June.

I’m at wits end here and I may end up having to take him to a behavioral specialist. I have no problem with them telling me he’s special need, I know that already. Once he get over these hurdles – the most important ones – I’ll be fine. It’s just really bad to me because he can’t tell me if someone hurt or hit him. He just comes crying and gets frustrated when I ask him what’s the matter. He doesn’t know the words to tell me what happen.

I feel like a failure as a mother and I feel like I failed my son.

So for someone who had a religious agenda to shoot at me didn’t help me at all. Religion has nothing to do with my son’s speech-delay or late potty skills. Just because that’s their copout for being naughty and disappointed their sky-daddy in the past doesn’t mean it applies to me.

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One comment

  1. hessianwithteeth · July 27, 2014

    My brother had a speech delay as a kid. He mostly got over it right before he started kindergarten. He still has a few issues with speech, but most people don’t notice them. My mom is a Christian, so I wonder how that lady would explain away my brother’s issues. It seems odd that a good Christian boy would get a speech impediment if it’s supposedly a punishment handed down to heathen parents. Though, really, who’d punish a little boy for what their parents did? That’s just wrong.

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