Dear Jealous and Bitter Moms

Yes, I did birth my son vaginally. No I did not have a surrogate mother birth my baby. Yes, I’ve always been a tiny little thing. No, I did not adopt my son (Really? He looks JUST like me!). And no you cannot hold him you crazy woman! And don’t you dare pinch his cheeks! I don’t even pinch his cheeks.

I was standing on E 9th fiddling with my phone, just got a message from my son’s dad. I answered his message and waited on the walk signal so I could cross the street when this woman came up and stood next to me. She took her nose out of the sky long enough to look down at my son and then at me. The conversation that followed was an interesting one: Crazy Baby Lady: Is that a girl? Me: No. Crazy Baby Lady: How old is she? MeHe just turned one. Crazy Baby Lady: You’re his babysitter? Me: No. Crazy Baby Lady: Oh! You’re his mom! He looks just like you! She then looks down at my son and says… Crazy Baby Lady: Hello sweetie! I just want to pinch your little cheeks! Me: … -Evil eye- Crazy Baby Lady: So, he came out of your little self? Me: …There are women who suffer from dwarfism and have no legs who have given birth vaginally. Crazy Baby Lady: You had a C-section, right? Me: No. Crazy Baby Lady: What did he weigh at birth? Me: Almost 9lbs. Crazy Baby Lady: -Laughs- You, gave birth, to him vaginally? Really?! Me: Crazier things have happened. Crazy Baby Lady: You must have been all baby! You’re…you’re so tiny! -giggles- Me: I’ve gathered that. Crazy Baby Lady: When I was pregnant I was huge! Never really lost all the pregnancy weight. I wish I was that tiny after giving birth to a whale. Me: -crickets- Me: The walk signal is taking longer to change today…

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