20 Questions I’d Liked to Ask My Son

You’re going to be one soon and I love you so very much. It’s just, there are things that baffles me and then there are things that keep me wondering. You are a fascinating little creature and I wish you could answer my questions for me but I digress…

  1. What do you dream about when you fall asleep?
  2. What be so funny when it’s dead silent all around us?
  3. Why must you pull all mommy’s hair out and scream like a banshee while doing so?
  4. Why did you call me Goku?
  5. I never been slapped by a baby before; it’s a new experience for me. When you hit me for the first time, why did you have to be holding a full bottle of milk?
  6. Why does my pain bring you joy?
  7. Why must you sit still for a diaper change long enough to get the diaper off then you break away at the first chance once the diaper is off? Do you realize you have crap all over your booty?
  8. Do you realize how much mommy loves you?
  9. What goes through your mind when you think mommy is leaving you when she’s only in the next room getting scrambled eggs out of her hair?
  10. It’ll be a year Thursday, hasn’t the excitement of seeing me worn off yet?
  11. Why do you have to grow, can’t you stay a baby forever? For me?
  12. Your cheeks scream, “kiss me!” all over them. Why? I swear you’re made of sugar.
  13. What is it about the flushing of the toilet that have you running for the hills?
  14. You have a belly button, why don’t you poke yours?
  15. What do you think your first memory will be?
  16. Why must your biological clock go off at 6:00 every morning?
  17. What’s so fascinating about mommy toes that you want to stick them in your mouth and use them as a teething ring?
  18. You’re just a year old (almost) and you look like you could be 2. Why are you so big?
  19. Why do you drink your juice from your sippy cup but refuse to drink your milk from your sippy cup?
  20. Who told you about Queen‘s Bohemian Rhapsody and when did you grow to like it?

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