The Big One

Hey sweetie,

You’ll be one today! There are a lot of babies that don’t make it to see one hour, let alone 1 year. Therefore, I am grateful to have you in my life. I’m taking this time to express how much you mean to me, how much you drive me crazy, and how much I wish you didn’t have to grow up. 

Today was a test of the wills when you decide to get a hold of my calendar/notepad and rip days off the back and front. You had calendar sheets littered in your playpen, outside your play pen and under my desk. Granted I should have kept up with the calendar and even ripping of the expired days but, I digress. I knew something was up when I tuned you back in after tuning you out to do my school work to hear a bunch of paper rumbling behind me. It sounded like a baby rolling around in a paper-filled play pen. I turned around and saw just that. You were so into what you were doing you didn’t even notice the noise I was making looking for my camera to take a picture (or a few) of you and your toy of the day. You were caught red-handed buddy and I have a feeling there will be more days like that.

Today was the day that you finally put those four teeth to some use. Youchewed and chewed and chewed; you enjoyed your breakfast lunch and dinner and I enjoyed watching you enjoy it. It made me feel accomplished and I know you felt accomplished too. I thought you would be 18 months old still getting hand-fed by your dear old mom but you got the hang of it and I knew you would. Mommy is proud of you.

You’ve taught me so much in the year you’ve been here so far and I’m a better person, a better mother because of you. I thought you would you think I was a failure of a mother and that I couldn’t do anything right. With my hair all over my head my shirt hanging from me, and with one pant leg up and one down; I could look like the wicked witch of the west and you’d still love me. The way you reach out (or grab and tug on my shirt) and say, “ma-ma“, it gets me most of the time. Sometimes though, I wish my name was “dog” because you’re wearing “ma-ma” out.

When you were first-born I was so scared that I thought you could smell my fear and you would reject me as your mom. Sounds crazy I know but it’s true. When you gave everyone in the room the finger, I kind of felt bad because you acted like you didn’t want to come out. I’m sure when they laid you on my tummy, you were giving me the evil eye through closed lids. I was so scared when they put you on my tummy, I didn’t touch you at first until the midwife told me to help wipe you off. I was in such a daze; much of that day is a blur. I don’t remember who handed you to me after you got wrapped up. All I know is that you were finally here and even though I was afraid, I was happy to see you.

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year and at the same time, it feels like you’ve been here with me forever. One minute you can’t hold your neck up for long periods of time and the next, you’re trying to walk while holding on to someone else’s leg. You’re getting so big so fast and I’m afraid that time is moving too fast. I wish it could slow down just a bit so I can spend time with you while you’re still a baby; you’re practically a man now! You got 3 in a half teeth – with another one sprouting through, you’re eating adult people food now, you call me Goku and, everyone absolutely loves you. That classifies you as a man little dude.

Now that you’re officially a man, it’s time to get rid of Mr. Binky and Mr. Bottle. I know I know, you like to lay back in your lounger and drink your troubles away but, that’s not going to fly. You’re going to be mad, and frustrated, and probably wish you had the eye-hand coordination to throw your sippy cup square in my mouth, but, that’s too bad, you’re not about to be 1 going on 2 still drinking from a bottle. This is going to hurt me more than it’ll hurt you. So, get mad, fall out, kick them adorable feet in the air, and scream like you just don’t care; I’m putting my foot down and that’s that.

You are a handful but mommy loves you so very much. You keep me on my toes and I’m grateful for that because boy do I need it.

Today is going to be an interesting day, I know that for sure! I hope it goes smooth as possible because the sooner you get to put your hands in your cake (and make a mess) the better.

This ride is no where near over and I’m going to enjoy myself along the way. It’s going to be some bumpy roads and a few dead ends but we’ll get through them together. I promise.



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20 Questions I’d Liked to Ask My Son

You’re going to be one soon and I love you so very much. It’s just, there are things that baffles me and then there are things that keep me wondering. You are a fascinating little creature and I wish you could answer my questions for me but I digress…

  1. What do you dream about when you fall asleep?
  2. What be so funny when it’s dead silent all around us?
  3. Why must you pull all mommy’s hair out and scream like a banshee while doing so?
  4. Why did you call me Goku?
  5. I never been slapped by a baby before; it’s a new experience for me. When you hit me for the first time, why did you have to be holding a full bottle of milk?
  6. Why does my pain bring you joy?
  7. Why must you sit still for a diaper change long enough to get the diaper off then you break away at the first chance once the diaper is off? Do you realize you have crap all over your booty?
  8. Do you realize how much mommy loves you?
  9. What goes through your mind when you think mommy is leaving you when she’s only in the next room getting scrambled eggs out of her hair?
  10. It’ll be a year Thursday, hasn’t the excitement of seeing me worn off yet?
  11. Why do you have to grow, can’t you stay a baby forever? For me?
  12. Your cheeks scream, “kiss me!” all over them. Why? I swear you’re made of sugar.
  13. What is it about the flushing of the toilet that have you running for the hills?
  14. You have a belly button, why don’t you poke yours?
  15. What do you think your first memory will be?
  16. Why must your biological clock go off at 6:00 every morning?
  17. What’s so fascinating about mommy toes that you want to stick them in your mouth and use them as a teething ring?
  18. You’re just a year old (almost) and you look like you could be 2. Why are you so big?
  19. Why do you drink your juice from your sippy cup but refuse to drink your milk from your sippy cup?
  20. Who told you about Queen‘s Bohemian Rhapsody and when did you grow to like it?

What Did You Call Me? Goku?!

Yes, my son called me Goku. Who would have thought my son’s first word would be Goku? Nah he didn’t intentionally call me Goku but it was funny. I was eating (oh the irony!) and he was in his play pen watching a movie I had on for him. I turned to him to say something and he smiled at me and said, “Goku”.

He wasn’t babbling, or screaming, or laughing, or squealing prior to him calling me Goku, he was just standing there watching Astro Boy. I love Dragonball Zby the way and I found it odd that my son said that out of the Gokublue. It’s odd because he only babble ma-ma, na-na, and does this funny baby-talk with his tongue hanging half-way out of his mouth. I didn’t even know he knew how to make a ‘guh’ sound before today.  Anyway, I couldn’t do nothing but laugh because it took me by surprise.

I would like to believe that Goku is his first word but it’s all coincidence because he hasn’t said it since. No, I’m not teaching my son the name of the characters from Dragonball Z. I haven’t seen Dragonball Z since 2005 and probably won’t watch it ever again; well after my son is old enough to understand that he cannot do what is being done in the anime. A level of understanding of reality needs to be established before I allow him to watch a PG rated anime. Same thing goes for video games too.

In other news, my son will be 1 this coming Thursday and I’m excited because that mean I manged to make it through one year of parenting without pulling my hair out. My son on the other hand don’t even realize what’s going on and is just happy to pull out mommy’s hair for her.

All Babies Are Born Light-skinned – What?!

I was browsing Mommy-ish and came across this article about Beyoncé‘s pregnancy and birth being fake (even I sort of kind of believed she had a surrogate) and ventured down to the comments. One of the commenters made such a disgusting and asinine statement that all Black babies are born “light-skinned”. I wish I could send her an e-mail asking her what planet did she come from? I raised my siblings and one of my sisters are much darker than I. She was born that complexion. To say that if you’re of Brazilian or Caribbeanbackgrounds especially – you will always come out light-skinned. Unless she’s god, I don’t see how she knew for sure that all babies are born light-skinned.

I’m making this an issue because of how naïve people are. Not all babies are born light-skinned, some are just born with the color they will be, more often than not, very dark-skinned babies already have their color or level ofMelanin. While a baby may seem light-skinned,  usually within the first six month the Melanin begins to darken the skin to the tone it will be for a long time.

If you want proof of dark-skinned babies, watch a mother give birth to  one on one of those birth shows on TLC

Yes, I’m infuriated. It’s that kind of mindset that keeps us mad (and being total hypocrites) when someone of a different race calls us the same word that most black people use (nigga). Stop the foolishness.

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